Do you wish women would approach you first?

[EveWasFramed]

If your reason is "great tits" then please stop reading this, as I don't think you should be reproducing anyway.

+1

 

[Mike413]

I suppose I started this thread because I was tired of hearing guys say they wanted or expected women to approach them. Imo, it just doesn't USUALLY work that way. Not for most guys anyway. If you want women to approach you and it's that important to you you can do a few things.

1. Become famous or a celebrity (women like celebrities)
2. Hire a prostitute (sure you have to approach them but it's pretty much a rejection free kind of thing).
3. Become a musician and join a band. Women like musicians.
4. Stop whining about it and learn how to get better with women. Approach the woman in a non needy but friendly way. Let her know that she has to work for you and not the other way around. Tell her you would like to be friends and if she is cool and friendly and not high maintenance like a lot of women you will consider asking her out.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I suppose I started this thread because I was tired of hearing guys say they wanted or expected women to approach them. Imo, it just doesn't USUALLY work that way. Not for most guys anyway. If you want women to approach you and it's that important to you you can do a few things.

1. Become famous or a celebrity (women like celebrities)
2. Hire a prostitute (sure you have to approach them but it's pretty much a rejection free kind of thing).
3. Become a musician and join a band. Women like musicians.
4. Stop whining about it and learn how to get better with women. Approach the woman in a non needy but friendly way. Let her know that she has to work for you and not the other way around. Tell her you would like to be friends and if she is cool and friendly and not high maintenance like a lot of women you will consider asking her out.

^^ And when she snorts at you (meaning anyone) for being a misogynistic pig and a jerkish *********, you will then know how NOT to talk to someone you're interested in.
That has to be the lamest advice I've ever read and I HOPE it was a joke or an attempt at sarcasm.

 

[Batman55]

Mike, you need to be more PC on that, especially on #4. This is not some fraternity or something Even I was cringing a bit when I read that.

But then it should be said, PC or not, #2 and #4 are simply wrong or at least immoral.

 

[Mike413]

I suppose I started this thread because I was tired of hearing guys say they wanted or expected women to approach them. Imo, it just doesn't USUALLY work that way. Not for most guys anyway. If you want women to approach you and it's that important to you you can do a few things.

1. Become famous or a celebrity (women like celebrities)
2. Hire a prostitute (sure you have to approach them but it's pretty much a rejection free kind of thing).
3. Become a musician and join a band. Women like musicians.
4. Stop whining about it and learn how to get better with women. Approach the woman in a non needy but friendly way. Let her know that she has to work for you and not the other way around. Tell her you would like to be friends and if she is cool and friendly and not high maintenance like a lot of women you will consider asking her out.

^^ And when she snorts at you (meaning anyone) for being a misogynistic pig and a jerkish *********, you will then know how NOT to talk to someone you're interested in.
That has to be the lamest advice I've ever read and I HOPE it was a joke or an attempt at sarcasm.

You are right. You're advice about learning how not to talk to them when she snorts at you is lame.

First off no woman likes or respects a man who she can use as a doormat and walk all over. That is my point. Trust me. There will be no snorting involved if you show confidence and act as though the woman cannot manipulate you. If the guy was being a jerkish ********* then good for him. Women love badboys anyway so it's a win win. That last part was a little bit of sarcasm. But the unfortunate reality is a woman is more likely to go for a guy who treats them like crap then who treats them like a princess. I know most women don't want to admit this but everyone knows it's true. However, if you are a guy who is struggling with women you don't want to be either guy. You want to be somewhere in the middle: an assertive guy who has confidence and is lots of fun to be around but doesn't let women have their way and tell them what to do all the time. If that is being mysognistic then so be it. I'd rather live in reality than women's made up fantasies that don't have any bearing in what women are attracted to. Trust me there is often a huge difference between what women say they want in a man and the guy they really go for.

 

[kamya]

But the unfortunate reality is a woman is more likely to go for a guy who treats them like crap then who treats them like a princess.

How about neither?

However, if you are a guy who is struggling with women you don't want to be either guy. You want to be somewhere in the middle: an assertive guy who has confidence and is lots of fun to be around...

This is the only part that is close to being true.

 

[EveWasFramed]

There will be no snorting involved if you show confidence and act as though the woman cannot manipulate you. If the guy was being a jerkish ********* then good for him. Women love badboys anyway so it's a win win. But the unfortunate reality is a woman is more likely to go for a guy who treats them like crap then who treats them like a princess. I know most women don't want to admit this but everyone knows it's true. If that is being mysognistic then so be it. I'd rather live in reality than women's made up fantasies that don't have any bearing in what women are attracted to. Trust me there is often a huge difference between what women say they want in a man and the guy they really go for.

Uh huh. And how's that attitude working for you so far, Mikey?
*SNORTS*

 

[Triple Bogey]

I suppose I started this thread because I was tired of hearing guys say they wanted or expected women to approach them. Imo, it just doesn't USUALLY work that way. Not for most guys anyway. If you want women to approach you and it's that important to you you can do a few things.

1. Become famous or a celebrity (women like celebrities)
2. Hire a prostitute (sure you have to approach them but it's pretty much a rejection free kind of thing).
3. Become a musician and join a band. Women like musicians.
4. Stop whining about it and learn how to get better with women. Approach the woman in a non needy but friendly way. Let her know that she has to work for you and not the other way around. Tell her you would like to be friends and if she is cool and friendly and not high maintenance like a lot of women you will consider asking her out.

1 and 3 sound childish.
2 hardly helps in the long run
4 will get you a slap in the face.

 

[jaguarundi]

I only just read Mikey-boys heroic contributions, and I have to say it was one of the best birthday presents I have had on this my natal day.

I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair, and snort - I practically inhaled my own face

What a prize! Gosh, with all the girls just throwing themselves at him because of his winning ways, I'm surprised he has any time to post at all... *chortles all afternoon*

 

[EveWasFramed]

I only just read Mikey-boys heroic contributions, and I have to say it was one of the best birthday presents I have had on this my natal day.

I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair, and snort - I practically inhaled my own face

What a prize! Gosh, with all the girls just throwing themselves at him because of his winning ways, I'm surprised he has any time to post at all... *chortles all afternoon*

Gotta be careful with those snorts, my lovely!

 

[Mike413]

There will be no snorting involved if you show confidence and act as though the woman cannot manipulate you. If the guy was being a jerkish ********* then good for him. Women love badboys anyway so it's a win win. But the unfortunate reality is a woman is more likely to go for a guy who treats them like crap then who treats them like a princess. I know most women don't want to admit this but everyone knows it's true. If that is being mysognistic then so be it. I'd rather live in reality than women's made up fantasies that don't have any bearing in what women are attracted to. Trust me there is often a huge difference between what women say they want in a man and the guy they really go for.

Uh huh. And how's that attitude working for you so far, Mikey?
*SNORTS*

It's working a lot better than it did when I was a so called "nice guy." Women might not want to admit this but they secretly don't want a guy who is going to do everything they say and stands up for them selves and stands up to them when they are being bitches. If a guy just lets a woman walk all over them that's not attractive to women. GO on and ask all your girlfriends and you'll see that I'm telling the truth. If they say anything other than that then they are lying.

You might find this hard to believe but there are disrespectful women out there. If a woman doesn't call a guy back, leads him on or doesn't show up for a date or is more than a few minutes late that is disrespectful.

But I can't talk to you about being disrespectful since you are disrespectful(ie calling a grown man "Mikey")so you are going on ignore. Congratulations.

---

I suppose I started this thread because I was tired of hearing guys say they wanted or expected women to approach them. Imo, it just doesn't USUALLY work that way. Not for most guys anyway. If you want women to approach you and it's that important to you you can do a few things.

1. Become famous or a celebrity (women like celebrities)
2. Hire a prostitute (sure you have to approach them but it's pretty much a rejection free kind of thing).
3. Become a musician and join a band. Women like musicians.
4. Stop whining about it and learn how to get better with women. Approach the woman in a non needy but friendly way. Let her know that she has to work for you and not the other way around. Tell her you would like to be friends and if she is cool and friendly and not high maintenance like a lot of women you will consider asking her out.

1 and 3 sound childish.
2 hardly helps in the long run
4 will get you a slap in the face.

4 Wont get you slapped in the face. Trust me. I've said much worse without getting slapped. Anyway, you don't say these things directly necessarily. You imply them. Never talk in a way that signals to a woman that you think she is somehow better than you.


Since you guys all think my ideas are crap I would love to hear your suggestions and advice on how to approach or pick up a woman or get them to pick you up. I can't wait to you hear your lame "just be yourself" advice or what other stuff you can come up with.

And those people on here who really don't think women go for the jerks and badboys(and no I'm not suggesting anyone actually be like that)is just kidding themselves. Yes women often do go for the nice guys but only after they've been hurt and dumped a thousand times by the bad guys out there. Trust me folks. I know what I'm talking about. I've heard about these things a thousand times. I get it though. The truth hurts.

Anyway, I'm done here. This is wasting too much time for me. I hope some of you will consider what I have said and just learn from it rather than try to rebel against it and protest. I know what I'm talking about and that's good enough for me. I am not going to post anymore and so I won't respond anymore either(half of you are now on iggy anyway but I hope you all have a lovely stay and have a great day(I'm not one of those people who hates or is disrespectful(deliberately or in a mean way anyway) to those who are rude or disrespectful to me. Be good and have fun!

 

[Sci-Fi]

People don't like your comments, so they are inclined to disagree.

The one person that I see who is being disrespectful is you Mike. Knock it off, you want people to show you respect show it towards other people. You show disrespect towards them, they will do it right back and that is exactly what is happening here.

Further more, don't be calling anyone names, I don't care if it is not directed towards members, but calling women bitches on a whole when we have female members is incredibly disrespectful.

Guys like you give men a bad name. I for one am ashamed to be classed in the same species with someone like you.

You can call me disrespectful if you like, because I am. You haven't shown anyone respect so you won't get it from me.

 

[Minus]

Women might not want to admit this but they secretly don't want a guy who is .....

Ya gotta love it. Explaining to a woman what she really wants because you know that they are either to simple minded or deceitful to know themselves what they want. Fortunate it is simplified by the fact that they all want the same thing.

 

[SofiasMami]

What did I miss here? Mike, I have no doubt you've watched women chase after bad boys and men who disrespect them but is that the type of relationship you want? Women who like themselves and have good lives don't want to botch it up by spending the rest of their lives married to a bad boy. Sure, they might be good for a f@ck or two but that's it.
If a confident, assertive man shows some interest but then treats me like crap, there's no way I'm chasing that down. I'm better off single.

-Teresa

 

[EveWasFramed]

People don't like your comments, so they are inclined to disagree.

The one person that I see who is being disrespectful is you Mike. Knock it off, you want people to show you respect show it towards other people. You show disrespect towards them, they will do it right back and that is exactly what is happening here.

Further more, don't be calling anyone names, I don't care if it is not directed towards members, but calling women bitches on a whole when we have female members is incredibly disrespectful.

Guys like you give men a bad name. I for one am ashamed to be classed in the same species with someone like you.

You can call me disrespectful if you like, because I am. You haven't shown anyone respect so you won't get it from me.

+1

---

Women might not want to admit this but they secretly don't want a guy who is .....

Ya gotta love it. Explaining to a woman what she really wants because you know that they are either to simple minded or deceitful to know themselves what they want. Fortunate it is simplified by the fact that they all want the same thing.

+1

---

so you are going on ignore. Congratulations.

Thank you....thank you very much. lol, I don't give a rat's furry ass if you ignore me. That doesn't make you any LESS WRONG in your misogynistic opinions.

 

[MTrip]

I used to wish for that. Once in a while I still do...but rarely. It's just not realistic. Sure, we don't live in nearly as traditional a society as we once did & women can not only do things now that they weren't allowed, but they may well fulfill certain stereotypically male roles better than most men do. (How many single mothers really want a father for the kids?) But evolution still has an influence at least for now. Long before recorded history, when it was time to find a mate, men made the first moves. Unless/Until the human race is radically reengineered to move beyond the old breed-for-success roles, I don't see women making the first move as becoming a general trend.

---

What bothers me is that it is a double edged sword, for shy men. If we come on too strong, we're creepy. If we sit back and let her do the approaching, we aren't interested.

Where is the middle ground? I've asked this on at least four different forums, including here, and never had an answer. I always just get a "Oh, it'll just happen" nonsense which is frankly insulting at this point.

I can see that and I can see how it's unhelpful.
The major thing which helps here is confidence. The ability to relax. From my experience... there are women who will never be interested in you. No matter what you say or what your approach is. So what I do for confidence is to tell myself. "She won't be interested. Let's go have a laugh." That way, if she's not interested... I was right and I lose nothing. I think some groups of guys have a similar method of getting their courage up. They'll dare each other to do something stupid/outrageous etc. The principle is the same.

The most successful "middle ground" as I've found, tends to be simplicity itself. Walk up, smile and say hello. Say you spotted her and mention whatever it was about her physically you liked. If your reason is "great tits" then please stop reading this, as I don't think you should be reproducing anyway.

Muse made a great point. And Nightwing, you're a card, man!...

 

[Batman55]

Loving every moment of this...! Popcorn bucket and all.

I'm not going to get into who is right or who is wrong, enough with politics after all.

I just love drama... I might be addicted to it.. and this is a bloody good fix!

 

[Nightwing]

If we could sidestep everything to do with Mike's comments for a moment, I think there's plenty more good discussion in this topic. Whether it be just simple venting, discussing how far the cultural shift is likely to take us.... or why we're so deeply hung up something so shallow. Perhaps we can get back on topic?

That one for me is quite interesting, because I'd guess most people on this forum have developed personalities. From that, you're likely to want more out of a significant other than just a shallow guy or gal. (I know I do... the number of shallow women I've met in my lifetime astonishes me sometimes. Particularly when they lament "oh I just want a genuine guy.") Yet here we are... really hung up about the most shallow part of the dating experience. The approach. Something decided almost exclusively on the idea that man finds woman physically attractive. (Or maybe vice versa.) I think as part of this, the cultural shift should be encouraging more women to approach men. (I know it happens already... not to me... but ya know. It shouldn't just be applauded, it should be encouraged.) It's a great thing, because ultimately... even if man/woman approaches man/woman then they could find out the person they've approached is braindead and/or boring. And thus the search starts all over again. The sooner we get past the shallow part and onto what really matters, the better.

I do have a thought on why the shallow part is such a big deal. I'm not just thinking about the emotional aspect, but the media culture of today. The media have put massive emphasis on physical appearance. (I actually get quite offended sometimes by the feminists who complain about body image for women and completely bypass the very clear pressure it's also placed on men. We really shouldn't overlook the rising number of eating disorders in teen males.) I'd posit that explains why the shallow side to dating is being taken so seriously. Add onto the skinny young man's self doubt, his worry about being rejected in a humiliating fashion by a woman.... it's no wonder he's frightened of approaching her. My recommendation would be that we kinda need to police our own gender in order to try and make this a bit easier. If one of your friends, male or female, gives a nasty or harsh rejection to someone.... call them out on it. Tell them how much of a *******/***** they're acting towards that person who only wanted to pay them a compliment. Being polite when you say no costs nothing.

(- And more than this, I'd say that women who give harsh rejections are only helping to spread the bitter feeling that leaves guys like Mike drawing the conclusions they do.)

 

[jaguarundi]

The complete idiocy of some of this thread lies in the utter inability to see the other person's point of view. Particularly when it comes to issues between the sexes. Anyone who has read the 'first time' thread posted by 3ple bogey will see that, as a younger woman, I was treated to some unbelievable nasty honeysuckle by guys.

So, if I ultimately was short (not I hope, rude) to some chap asking me out, it was these experiences with other men that were to blame. Ditto I am sure with men - a few bitchy bits of laughter from a gal and her mates can sour a guy into joining Club Misogyny with a lifetime membership.

The thing of it is - we cannot know, really, why another person isn't nice to us. Maybe it's because they really are not nice people - or, maybe their dog has just died, their father left with another woman, their grades at work or school have been poor, they have a migraine - who the fresia knows?.

It's great as we get older to try to be more polite. But when a chap has asked you out by putting his hand up you skirt to feel your c*** (and yes, this also has happened to me) it can be a tad difficult just afterwards to be nice when another guy approaches you. Who will then think 'what a c***' when you are a bit - short - with him. And ditto with what women can do to men.

I just think it is tremendously sad that we judge other people - and ourselves - on such flimsy, short-notice, evidence. What is worse is when we alter our view of other people, of ourselves or our behaviours, on the basis of it.

 

[Nightwing]

The thing of it is - we cannot know, really, why another person isn't nice to us. Maybe it's because they really are not nice people - or, maybe their dog has just died, their father left with another woman, their grades at work or school have been poor, they have a migraine - who the fresia knows?.

It's great as we get older to try to be more polite. But when a chap has asked you out by putting his hand up you skirt to feel your c*** (and yes, this also has happened to me) it can be a tad difficult just afterwards to be nice when another guy approaches you. Who will then think 'what a c***' when you are a bit - short - with him. And ditto with what women can do to men.

If I can just get the rage off my chest... the guy who basically just sexually assaulted you deserves to have his nose broken for it. As a minimum.

I'm also left wondering... if this sort of thing happens to ladies... how did my polite "would you like to get dinner sometime?" get such a nasty response. I mean wow. I think the upshot of Jag's post is that there definitely needs to be a greater respect from both sides. Though I am curious as to how it's come to this? The way I was brought up, was to give a certain minimum respect to everyone. That doesn't mean you have to lie down and no longer hold opinions on anything... but it does mean a sort of self evaluation. For example, if I'd been short or rude to a girl I was turning down, I'd look back and feel quite ashamed of it. I'd apologise if I could, but ultimately I'd learn from that and carry on. I think there was one time I was genuinely quite nasty... a girl introduced herself to me in a club, by grabbing my bum. I was not best pleased. A shove, followed by swearing ensued because I felt pretty violated. Looking back on it now, that was unacceptable. Understandable, but unacceptable because I want to hold myself to a higher standard. After all, we can't eliminate the nasty behaviour until we start telling ourselves that we have to be the better person... even in the face of other people continuing to spread the bad vibes.

I reckon I should shut up now because I'm posting too much lol.