Is looking for a girl strictly for hooking up such a bad thing?

[Restless soul]

And any sort of relationship and or human contact will! Help that issue!

Actually, not always.  Would an abusive relationship help that issue?  How about one where the person spends all their time elsewhere and is rarely with you?  How about the time you finally go and have sex with a random person and you walk away with an STD?

You giving extreme negative examples.  I said, healthy positive interactions? Why on earth would I want to be around abusive people? And..and std..fine but I would prepare for that. You get the point. That you can usually prevent if you are smart

 

[TheRealCallie]

And any sort of relationship and or human contact will! Help that issue!

Actually, not always.  Would an abusive relationship help that issue?  How about one where the person spends all their time elsewhere and is rarely with you?  How about the time you finally go and have sex with a random person and you walk away with an STD?

You giving extreme negative examples.  I said, healthy positive interactions? Why on earth would I want to be around abusive people? And..and std..fine but I would prepare for that. You get the point. That you can usually prevent if you are smart

No, you said ANY sort of relationship....  And you think you are so **** perceptive that you would be able to pick out every single abusive person in the world?  Lol, yeah, I call bullshit.

 

[Restless soul]

And any sort of relationship and or human contact will! Help that issue!

Actually, not always.  Would an abusive relationship help that issue?  How about one where the person spends all their time elsewhere and is rarely with you?  How about the time you finally go and have sex with a random person and you walk away with an STD?

You giving extreme negative examples.  I said, healthy positive interactions? Why on earth would I want to be around abusive people? And..and std..fine but I would prepare for that. You get the point. That you can usually prevent if you are smart

No, you said ANY sort of relationship....  And you think you are so **** perceptive that you would be able to pick out every single abusive person in the world?  Lol, yeah, I call bullshit.

Thanks for the bone back there. Good find.

I had to back track. To see. Ok yes, you took "any sort of relationship to mean good or bad. No..obviously i hope for the best. Go into it with the best intentions. I am not talking down the road. But what I should have said. Is any interaction with someone I deem cool. Would be great. 
Not that I have to spell that out

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The subject was brought up due to lonliness and sexual frustration. Abusive relationships? Thats a whole other topic

 

[TheRealCallie]

So, based on your observances, you think you know how everything works? How you can just talk to people or have sex with someone and NOTHING will go wrong because......what, you're so much smarter than everyone else?

I'm sorry, but the world doesn't work that way.

 

[Restless soul]

Never said that. But why jump to that. Why even go to abusive?
Doesn't fit in here. If i am looking for a quick hookup it's a non-issue. If i am looking for company its also a non issue. Just never even came up?? We are taking about something that is not even. Happening yet!

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I am sorry if you experienced those relationships, recently or in the past.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Never said that. But why jump to that. Why even go to abusive?
Doesn't fit in here. If i am looking for a quick hookup it's a non-issue.  If i am looking for company its also a non issue. Just never even came up?? We are taking about something that is not even. Happening yet!

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I am sorry if you experienced those relationships, recently or in the past.

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Not even talking about myself thanks.  Did you know men can be raped too?  So it's not so much of a non issue as you think it is.  Or would you just be ready and willing, no matter the circumstances?

I'm sorry if you want to live in this world where no bad happens, but that's not this world.  It's not all healthy and positive and likely will never be.  And no, it's hasn't happened yet, but neither has anything else you said.

 

[Restless soul]

Hello??? One would think I started out asking you..
Callie, I am really worried if i were to get into a relationship in the future that it might turn abusive down the road. I being the abuser or the other way around. NO!! not even a worry, nor should it be at this juncture.  Why would you even talk to me in such a papatronizing manner? Everyone here knows about what abusive relationship can mean.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Never said that. But why jump to that. Why even go to abusive?
Doesn't fit in here. If i am looking for a quick hookup it's a non-issue.  If i am looking for company its also a non issue. Just never even came up?? We are taking about something that is not even. Happening yet!

---

I am sorry if you experienced those relationships, recently or in the past.

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Not even talking about myself thanks.  Did you know men can be raped too?  So it's not so much of a non issue as you think it is.  Or would you just be ready and willing, no matter the circumstances?

I'm sorry if you want to live in this world where no bad happens, but that's not this world.  It's not all healthy and positive and likely will never be.  And no, it's hasn't happened yet, but neither has anything else you said.

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Please don't give him ideas for the future. Lol

 

[Restless soul]

Oh boy!!

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm not being patronizing, I'm being serious. You can't just think up an idea like you did and think it will go off perfectly without a hitch. There will be hitches, there could be dangerous situations. That is true for ANY person out there looking for a relationship and I would dare to say possibly more so for someone out there just looking for sex.

 

[Restless soul]

Oh, i see. Always meet in a well lit area off of craigslist.
Never get into a strangers car? Stuff like that??

 

[Restless soul]

I hope that at least eve enoyed this if nothing else

 

[Tealeaf]

Sex is fine. But people tend to lie to get it and put each other down over it. And sex in itself is only exciting for a little bit so people tend to look for relationships more. Why spend a ton of time and energy on people who won't have your back or be there for you when things get hard?

[quote pid='832648' dateline='1485983969']
 spend a ton of time and energy on people who won't have your back or be there for you when things get hard?

' for when things get hard " i like that pun. 

As to why spend the time and effort for sex or fun?
Simple answer; lonley. We can all somewhat relate to that here. Answer number 2. Desperate. 3. Sexually frustrated to the point of ...forget my own thread titles So yeah, I think those are all good reasons

I mean more than once in a while between relationships. Once the fun is done, they're out. It's like watching TV all the time instead of once in a while. You won't get much for what you spend on it.

So what's the alternative? Go months, years having no fun. Always alone? Like i am now? Walking around constantly angry, feeling rejected and dejected??
[/quote]

Find friends, not sex. People who love you, not people who want to use something that you have.

You sound like you want to complain, though, not talk. So I'm out of this thread.

 

[Restless soul]

Sex is fine. But people tend to lie to get it and put each other down over it. And sex in itself is only exciting for a little bit so people tend to look for relationships more. Why spend a ton of time and energy on people who won't have your back or be there for you when things get hard?

[quote pid='832648' dateline='1485983969']
 spend a ton of time and energy on people who won't have your back or be there for you when things get hard?

' for when things get hard " i like that pun. 

As to why spend the time and effort for sex or fun?
Simple answer; lonley. We can all somewhat relate to that here. Answer number 2. Desperate. 3. Sexually frustrated to the point of ...forget my own thread titles So yeah, I think those are all good reasons

I mean more than once in a while between relationships. Once the fun is done, they're out. It's like watching TV all the time instead of once in a while. You won't get much for what you spend on it.

So what's the alternative? Go months, years having no fun. Always alone? Like i am now? Walking around constantly angry, feeling rejected and dejected??

Find friends, not sex. People who love you, not people who want to use something that you have.

You sound like you want to complain, though, not talk. So I'm out of this thread.
[/quote]
I am always up for talk, friend.  You get discouraged too easy.
Not setting a good example for the others here on a lonley life forums.  But I do appreciate your comment none the less

 

[Wraith]

What's between two consenting adults behind closed doors is none of my business, and I'm not going to judge. I just hope that the parties involved are safe, and understand what's going on/what they want. 

I feel that a lot of people out there confuse physical satisfaction with emotional connection. Hooking up with someone for sex will likely not lead to a meaningful emotional connection, but if people want physical pleasure while completely understanding and accepting risks (and being open about it), etc. then all the power to them, people can do whatever they want.

 

[Missingthesun]

I think that actually planning to just "hook up" is difficult for most women because of the way we are raised and also the way we are wired. I see nothing wrong with it though if you are up front about your intentions. Watch out for potential bunny boilers though.

 

[ardour]

Attractive man looking for hook ups: well at least he's honest and direct...

Unattractive man looking for hook ups: probable rapist, harassment threat, abusive creep, etc.

Do you really want to be perceived as the later?

There's a sleigh of dangers associated with this behaviour: STDs, unwanted pregnancies, accidentally getting emotionally involved, breaking up another relationship without knowing. Not worth it in my opinion.

 

[Restless soul]

Attractive man looking for hook ups:  well at least he's honest and direct...

Unattractive man looking for hook ups: probable rapist, harassment threat, abusive creep, etc.

Do you really want to be perceived as the later?

There's a sleigh of dangers associated with this behaviour: STDs, unwanted pregnancies,  accidentally getting emotionally involved, breaking up another relationship without knowing. Not worth it in my opinion.

Who said I consider myself to be the latter?  A guy has to have some sex at some point?? II should hope

 

[ardour]

Attractive man looking for hook ups:  well at least he's honest and direct...

Unattractive man looking for hook ups: probable rapist, harassment threat, abusive creep, etc.

Do you really want to be perceived as the later?

There's a sleigh of dangers associated with this behaviour: STDs, unwanted pregnancies,  accidentally getting emotionally involved, breaking up another relationship without knowing. Not worth it in my opinion.

Who said I consider myself to be the latter?  A guy has to have some sex at some point?? II should hope

...and I'm living proof that he doesn't.

I don't mean to blunt, but if you're on here complaining about not being able to hook up, then you're maybe you're not the kind of guy women want to jump all over based on appearances alone, (despite the claim otherwise). Maybe better to  try and find a relationship? Or just accept the dry spell with grace?

 

[ditakelly]

There are women who claim they like to hook up, in truth they are just lying to themselves, essentially women are emotional creatures who don't truly separate emotions from sex. Although the older the woman is, the more likely she is able to cope with casual sex without the drama, but even then there's always ends up being one person who wants more. I have met a few 'mad for sex' women over the years, but to be honest they tend to a be 'not all there' or coke addicts.

I have had this conversation so many times with my best mate (Male in his 50's) who is exactly the same as you. We have both come to the conclusion that his best option is to pay for it, no strings attached, no drama.