Is there any point in trying to date if you are ugly?

[perfanoff]

I know I am not ugly. I used to get called "cute" a lot. The problem is that being cute is like a disease. I find it worse than being ugly.

If I get called cute that's just a social cue to be more assertive to them.

No sweat.

 

[RonYells]

^ that's true. The problem is on how to be assertive. The last time i tried this assertive thing i wound up registering on this site a year later

 

[blackdot]

If I get called cute that's just a social cue to be more assertive to them.

If I get called cute, then that person already has a reason to not worry about having to date me.

 

[duff]

I know I am not ugly. I used to get called "cute" a lot. The problem is that being cute is like a disease. I find it worse than being ugly.

that's an insult to us ugly people !

 

[ardour]

I know I am not ugly. I used to get called "cute" a lot. The problem is that being cute is like a disease. I find it worse than being ugly.

that's an insult to us ugly people !

yeah, *rage face*. He has no idea ...too bad the disapproval rating is disabled.

 

[MQForbes]

I feel that there is a point in trying to date even if you were ugly. You might find that someone doesn't think your ugly at all (Making you feel even more special). You could even mean the world to somebody. True ugliness comes from the soul anyways.

 

[RonYells]

i think cute hardly means pertaining the physical attributes. You can be attractive and be called cute, but you can also be ugly but still be called cute

 

[MQForbes]

blackdot :

RE: Is there any point in trying to date if you are ugly?
I know I am not ugly. I used to get called "cute" a lot. The problem is that being cute is like a disease. I find it worse than being ugly.

Has anyone ever told you that you are a beautiful, beautiful human being?

 

[Among the Sleep]

I know I am not ugly. I used to get called "cute" a lot. The problem is that being cute is like a disease. I find it worse than being ugly.

If I get called cute that's just a social cue to be more assertive to them.

No sweat.

fresia. That's a perfect way to put it...I've been really annoyed by being called cute before but honeysuckle that makes sense.

 

[jayme89]

The main problem with me being ugly is I know guys are not interested in being in an actual relationship with me. I have an ugly face, but admittedly, hot body (now if I could only walk around without a head...). I've had people literally say "ewww" and walk away if I say "hi" to them. I've had a guy attempt to get intimate with me and let me know that he "will not lie and say I'm beautiful because thats not true" and all he wants is sex. This is not made up! I've had guys try to hit on me (sexually) and then I turn them down and they say "wow, high standards for an ugly woman" or " you're ugly anyway"! Thats the main problem with being ugly. People assume because you're ugly that you have low self-esteem so they take advantage of that. There's no point in even being treated like a human. They think that just because you're ugly means you should be treated like an absolute dog. Therefore, I will not attempt to date. Because I believe being an ugly female is a curse and clearly, God hates me. An ugly female is destined to a life of solitude. I usually don't know what the point of living is for an ugly woman, but I personally have a lot of goals like traveling so... I guess I'm stuck here in this ugly shell destined for a life of solitude and misery.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Cute is not good. Little boys are cute.

I want to be called hot, sexy, etc.

 

[RonYells]

The main problem with me being ugly is I know guys are not interested in being in an actual relationship with me.

Then don't act as if your physical qualities are the biggest attractions to you. What I'm saying is, I'm pretty sure you've got a lot of good qualities in you besides the looks, which I'm sure most humans do. The tricky part is how you can bring out those qualities so other people can see it clearly. (Why do you reject guys who come to you anyway? It's now a lost opportunity to showcase your interior self).
Most good relationships develop through a lot of time. It is unfair for you to expect people to suddenly "see through" your exterior shell, like some magical Disney Prince. Unless, of course, all you're looking for is a one-night stand, ending up with someone takes a lot of patience and effort.

If you're a teenager, and the guys you hang out with are also teenagers, well tough luck, because everyone is shallow during those years (even the seemingly smart ones who claim to uphold the "I don't care about the looks" mantra).
If so, then I think you should use the time to develop your other traits that will surely be attractive to guys in the future (i.e. be the one to develop Diablo 5).

My point in all this, is that it I think it will be better for you (and also to the rest of us not being born with a symmetrical bone-structure) to not waste time hating yourself over such things as "not getting any". The less you focus all your energy and effort on it, the more natural it will come.

 

[Evil_Genius]

To be honest the smarter ones when they get older admit looks are the 1st thing that attracts them, but not the ONLY thing.

Over time even the prettiest boy/girls physical flaws with become apparent to you and the perfect looking one will be flawed, but the beautiful personality is somewhat sacrosanct and that won't change baring some real hellish force.

 

[jayme89]

The main problem with me being ugly is I know guys are not interested in being in an actual relationship with me.

Then don't act as if your physical qualities are the biggest attractions to you. What I'm saying is, I'm pretty sure you've got a lot of good qualities in you besides the looks, which I'm sure most humans do. The tricky part is how you can bring out those qualities so other people can see it clearly. (Why do you reject guys who come to you anyway? It's now a lost opportunity to showcase your interior self).
Most good relationships develop through a lot of time. It is unfair for you to expect people to suddenly "see through" your exterior shell, like some magical Disney Prince. Unless, of course, all you're looking for is a one-night stand, ending up with someone takes a lot of patience and effort.

If you're a teenager, and the guys you hang out with are also teenagers, well tough luck, because everyone is shallow during those years (even the seemingly smart ones who claim to uphold the "I don't care about the looks" mantra).
If so, then I think you should use the time to develop your other traits that will surely be attractive to guys in the future (i.e. be the one to develop Diablo 5).

My point in all this, is that it I think it will be better for you (and also to the rest of us not being born with a symmetrical bone-structure) to not waste time hating yourself over such things as "not getting any". The less you focus all your energy and effort on it, the more natural it will come.

You completely misinterpreted what I wrote. What I'm saying is no one wants to be in a relationship with me for anything other then a physical "relationship". I'm a virgin, so I don't and have never led with my sexuality. I just unfortunately happen to have huge boobs which guys seem to like. Guys who come up to me make it very obvious to me what their looking for and its not to take me on a date or get to know me. That's why I reject them. And the guys (okay, the ONE guy) who acted as though he really wanted to know me and took me on a date, turned very quickly. When he couldn't get what he wanted sexually he was gone and never heard of again. That encounter lasted all of 2 days. These guys were also the ones who were quick to say "you're ugly anyway" or "wow, high standards for an ugly woman". No one EVER has wanted to date me because they like me. I actually haven't been on many dates period (I'm 23 years old, not a teenager). I DO NOT hate myself or obsess over "not getting any". If I wanted to have sex I could! Easily! But it would be with guys who don't care about me. So hence, I've never had a boyfriend and I remain a virgin because at MINIMUM I want to be with someone who actually likes me and may not mind calling me his girlfriend or taking me out in public! Being ugly doesn't mean I don't have a sense of self worth- that I do have. And people think that because your an ugly woman you shouldn't have a sense of self worth and you should just do whatever they want and be happy with whatever you can get. Thats the problem and the point I was trying to make. I have never had a guy want to have a relationship with me. Period. How do I know? Because they tell me! They tell me because its not worth it to spare an ugly girls feelings or be nice to her in the slightest.

 

[perfanoff]

You'll find someone that wants a genuine relationship with you, one day, jayme. At least - I wish so

 

[duff]

The main problem with me being ugly is I know guys are not interested in being in an actual relationship with me.

Then don't act as if your physical qualities are the biggest attractions to you. What I'm saying is, I'm pretty sure you've got a lot of good qualities in you besides the looks, which I'm sure most humans do. The tricky part is how you can bring out those qualities so other people can see it clearly. (Why do you reject guys who come to you anyway? It's now a lost opportunity to showcase your interior self).
Most good relationships develop through a lot of time. It is unfair for you to expect people to suddenly "see through" your exterior shell, like some magical Disney Prince. Unless, of course, all you're looking for is a one-night stand, ending up with someone takes a lot of patience and effort.

If you're a teenager, and the guys you hang out with are also teenagers, well tough luck, because everyone is shallow during those years (even the seemingly smart ones who claim to uphold the "I don't care about the looks" mantra).
If so, then I think you should use the time to develop your other traits that will surely be attractive to guys in the future (i.e. be the one to develop Diablo 5).

My point in all this, is that it I think it will be better for you (and also to the rest of us not being born with a symmetrical bone-structure) to not waste time hating yourself over such things as "not getting any". The less you focus all your energy and effort on it, the more natural it will come.

You completely misinterpreted what I wrote. What I'm saying is no one wants to be in a relationship with me for anything other then a physical "relationship". I'm a virgin, so I don't and have never led with my sexuality. I just unfortunately happen to have huge boobs which guys seem to like. Guys who come up to me make it very obvious to me what their looking for and its not to take me on a date or get to know me. That's why I reject them. And the guys (okay, the ONE guy) who acted as though he really wanted to know me and took me on a date, turned very quickly. When he couldn't get what he wanted sexually he was gone and never heard of again. That encounter lasted all of 2 days. These guys were also the ones who were quick to say "you're ugly anyway" or "wow, high standards for an ugly woman". No one EVER has wanted to date me because they like me. I actually haven't been on many dates period (I'm 23 years old, not a teenager). I DO NOT hate myself or obsess over "not getting any". If I wanted to have sex I could! Easily! But it would be with guys who don't care about me. So hence, I've never had a boyfriend and I remain a virgin because at MINIMUM I want to be with someone who actually likes me and may not mind calling me his girlfriend or taking me out in public! Being ugly doesn't mean I don't have a sense of self worth- that I do have. And people think that because your an ugly woman you shouldn't have a sense of self worth and you should just do whatever they want and be happy with whatever you can get. Thats the problem and the point I was trying to make. I have never had a guy want to have a relationship with me. Period. How do I know? Because they tell me! They tell me because its not worth it to spare an ugly girls feelings or be nice to her in the slightest.

I hope you meet a nice fella one day !

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

That's terrible jayme. I hope you meet someone who values you for who you really are someday.

 

[ardour]

You completely misinterpreted what I wrote. What I'm saying is no one wants to be in a relationship with me for anything other then a physical "relationship". I'm a virgin, so I don't and have never led with my sexuality. I just unfortunately happen to have huge boobs which guys seem to like. Guys who come up to me make it very obvious to me what their looking for and its not to take me on a date or get to know me. That's why I reject them. And the guys (okay, the ONE guy) who acted as though he really wanted to know me and took me on a date, turned very quickly. When he couldn't get what he wanted sexually he was gone and never heard of again. That encounter lasted all of 2 days. These guys were also the ones who were quick to say "you're ugly anyway" or "wow, high standards for an ugly woman". No one EVER has wanted to date me because they like me. I actually haven't been on many dates period (I'm 23 years old, not a teenager). I DO NOT hate myself or obsess over "not getting any". If I wanted to have sex I could! Easily! But it would be with guys who don't care about me. So hence, I've never had a boyfriend and I remain a virgin because at MINIMUM I want to be with someone who actually likes me and may not mind calling me his girlfriend or taking me out in public! Being ugly doesn't mean I don't have a sense of self worth- that I do have. And people think that because your an ugly woman you shouldn't have a sense of self worth and you should just do whatever they want and be happy with whatever you can get. Thats the problem and the point I was trying to make. I have never had a guy want to have a relationship with me. Period. How do I know? Because they tell me! They tell me because its not worth it to spare an ugly girls feelings or be nice to her in the slightest.

What horrible guys. That makes me ashamed to be male. Wherever you're going to socialize I think you should look elsewhere... anywhere else.

 

[ladyforsaken]

You'll find someone that wants a genuine relationship with you, one day, jayme. At least - I wish so

I second this. Best wishes to you, jayme.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Reading the name to this thread made me think of another question, and that would be:

Is there a point in not dating if you are considered to be attractive?