Interesting study on attractiveness vs personality as first impression

[LonelyInAtl]

This is the key. Women would rather date a fit guy with a less-attractive face than an overweight guy with a really cute face, all other things being equal.

which women?

all women?

I would say the vast majority. Society is more accepting of the former.

---

I think I'll take the overweight dude with a cute face though... You keep on believing things that just aren't true.

Since in an INTJ (WAY on the "Thinking" side), I believe what I experience and see until something happens to change that.

 

[Ijustwish]

At work...there's a fat guy that's quite popular...I admit, I was not attracted to him at first, but he is so funny...he makes everyone laugh!! The first meeting with him...he was very funny and I remember thinking what a great personality and I would like to get to know him. I give people a chance...I always try to get to know people regardless if I am attracted at first because for me, I am the type that becomes more attracted to a person if I actually 'like' them as a person. Looks...are not enough. Then after working more with him...I kinda started noticing how handsome he is and what a great smile he has...I don't think he will be interested in me and it would be very, very awkward to be rejected and have to go to work...sad...but wow, he is a light in the room...and he definitely impresses the women...very positive energy to be around.

---

This is the key. Women would rather date a fit guy with a less-attractive face than an overweight guy with a really cute face, all other things being equal.

which women?

all women?

I would say the vast majority. Society is more accepting of the former.

---

To people who are upset about their weight:

Then lose weight!!!!! Extra weight is your own responsibility!!!
Why blame others for it?? I used to be fat and I lost the weight.
If you are fat and HAPPY...then you wouldn't have complained about it and blamed your fatness for your problems. If you are in North America, pretty much everyone is fat anyway. Fat guys complaining about how they can't get girls are probably not giving fat girls a chance!!
Everyone wants the supermodel bombshells!
If you are fat and SAD...then it's time to lose it and become happy!!
No need to make excuses...here in North America, people are quick to blame this or that for being overweight but you don't see around the rest of the world how excessive weight is even a problem!

It's crazy to me that people complain about being overweight because 9/10 times it can be changed!! I have an ugly face!! Do you know how hard it is to change that! Even extensive surgery has it's limits and far more psychologically traumatizing then simply losing weight!! No pity!!

 

[putter65]

At work...there's a fat guy that's quite popular...I admit, I was not attracted to him at first, but he is so funny...he makes everyone laugh!! The first meeting with him...he was very funny and I remember thinking what a great personality and I would like to get to know him. I give people a chance...I always try to get to know people regardless if I am attracted at first because for me, I am the type that becomes more attracted to a person if I actually 'like' them as a person. Looks...are not enough. Then after working more with him...I kinda started noticing how handsome he is and what a great smile he has...I don't think he will be interested in me and it would be very, very awkward to be rejected and have to go to work...sad...but wow, he is a light in the room...and he definitely impresses the women...very positive energy to be around.

---

This is the key. Women would rather date a fit guy with a less-attractive face than an overweight guy with a really cute face, all other things being equal.

which women?

all women?

I would say the vast majority. Society is more accepting of the former.

---

To people who are upset about their weight:

Then lose weight!!!!! Extra weight is your own responsibility!!!
Why blame others for it?? I used to be fat and I lost the weight.
If you are fat and HAPPY...then you wouldn't have complained about it and blamed your fatness for your problems. If you are in North America, pretty much everyone is fat anyway. Fat guys complaining about how they can't get girls are probably not giving fat girls a chance!!
Everyone wants the supermodel bombshells!
If you are fat and SAD...then it's time to lose it and become happy!!
No need to make excuses...here in North America, people are quick to blame this or that for being overweight but you don't see around the rest of the world how excessive weight is even a problem!

It's crazy to me that people complain about being overweight because 9/10 times it can be changed!! I have an ugly face!! Do you know how hard it is to change that! Even extensive surgery has it's limits and far more psychologically traumatizing then simply losing weight!! No pity!!

---

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I'm not good looking either. It's all to do with me losing my hair and the shape of my head. With a full head of hair I would look totally different and rather good. I always liked the way I looked when I did have hair. It's bad luck because my Dad isn't losing his hair and neither are my 2 brothers. And I know some say bald is sexy but not for me with my high forehead.

 

[Loser#1]

I agree. No pity for somebody being overweight and grumbling about it. Just don't eat as much and workout. I workout 2hrs a day, every day, 6 days a week. On the 7th I order pizza and lay around. Today is the 7th

 

[putter65]

At work...there's a fat guy that's quite popular...I admit, I was not attracted to him at first, but he is so funny...he makes everyone laugh!! The first meeting with him...he was very funny and I remember thinking what a great personality and I would like to get to know him. I give people a chance...I always try to get to know people regardless if I am attracted at first because for me, I am the type that becomes more attracted to a person if I actually 'like' them as a person. Looks...are not enough. Then after working more with him...I kinda started noticing how handsome he is and what a great smile he has...I don't think he will be interested in me and it would be very, very awkward to be rejected and have to go to work...sad...but wow, he is a light in the room...and he definitely impresses the women...very positive energy to be around.

---

This is the key. Women would rather date a fit guy with a less-attractive face than an overweight guy with a really cute face, all other things being equal.

which women?

all women?

I would say the vast majority. Society is more accepting of the former.

---

To people who are upset about their weight:

Then lose weight!!!!! Extra weight is your own responsibility!!!
Why blame others for it?? I used to be fat and I lost the weight.
If you are fat and HAPPY...then you wouldn't have complained about it and blamed your fatness for your problems. If you are in North America, pretty much everyone is fat anyway. Fat guys complaining about how they can't get girls are probably not giving fat girls a chance!!
Everyone wants the supermodel bombshells!
If you are fat and SAD...then it's time to lose it and become happy!!
No need to make excuses...here in North America, people are quick to blame this or that for being overweight but you don't see around the rest of the world how excessive weight is even a problem!

It's crazy to me that people complain about being overweight because 9/10 times it can be changed!! I have an ugly face!! Do you know how hard it is to change that! Even extensive surgery has it's limits and far more psychologically traumatizing then simply losing weight!! No pity!!

---

---

With women, of course I am interested in the pretty ones but it quickly disapears if they are rude or have nothing to say. That 'spark' of interest is because of looks but then after that it's all about personality and how you get on with somebody.

That's why I try to be as friendly and positive as I can be. Because I don't have the looks to get that initial interest.

Who knows ? Maybe they are dozens of women who like me but I am totally unaware of them ?

---

This is the key. Women would rather date a fit guy with a less-attractive face than an overweight guy with a really cute face, all other things being equal.

which women?

all women?

I would say the vast majority. Society is more accepting of the former.

---

I think I'll take the overweight dude with a cute face though... You keep on believing things that just aren't true.

Since in an INTJ (WAY on the "Thinking" side), I believe what I experience and see until something happens to change that.

---

I don't see how anybody can question you when you SEE and HEAR things yourself. It's nuts. All around the world, people are different. How can posters from America tell me what English women are like ?

 

[LonelyInAtl]

To people who are upset about their weight:

Then lose weight!!!!! Extra weight is your own responsibility!!!

I AM!!!!! I've hiked 15 miles this week and eaten healthy every day. Can you say the same? Not sure many people on here can.

 

[Loser#1]

Lonely ATL. That's a great life style change and stick w that you'll reach your goals. No sense mumbling about being heavy, put n the work and you'll be showing us pictures of how good you look! Stick w it

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I was 25lb overweight.
Depressed....over 40...single
When I first join this site.

My life changed. I got
Off of my ass and did something
About it.

I took lots of baby steps.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Lonely ATL. That's a great life style change and stick w that you'll reach your goals. No sense mumbling about being heavy, put n the work and you'll be showing us pictures of how good you look! Stick w it

I know...I'm shooting to be down another 50lbs by March 17, which is when my cruise pulls out of Tampa. 22 weeks from today, and if I can do 2.5lbs per week I'll ht it with 5 lbs to spare. If I could be down 75lbs I'd be ecstatic! That would be about 3.4 lbs/week. Not impossible, but not as likely as 2.5/wk.

Sometimes, though, it would be nice to have someone to share the hikes with, give you encouragement, positive motivation, etc.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I change on the inside and outside. Change the way I think. My beliefs. Change how I feel about myself.

Exercise my mind body and soul.
I dated plenty of chicks since.
I also posted grips of boobs shots
Too

 

[Trent]

a suggestion:

once you lose all the weight and are then capable of picking up any woman you desire (since according to your logic, they will all be helpless due to your improved physique) - definitely make sure try a different pickup line than:

"all women are superficial"

or

"women care about looks before personality"

those might hold you back in your endeavors

 

[putter65]

a suggestion:

once you lose all the weight and are then capable of picking up any woman you desire (since according to your logic, they will all be helpless due to your improved physique) - definitely make sure try a different pickup line than:

"all women are superficial"

or

"women care about looks before personality"

those might hold you back in your endeavors

leave him alone. Slagging him off isn't helping him. He believes what he writes. He is probably just frustrated with his 'lot' in life at the moment and using this message board to have a rant. Where else can you do it ?

Do you know every detail of his life ? Y'know maybe he is right ? Maybe he has the right to complain ? Maybe he has been treated like crap ?

 

[Loser#1]

ATL you'll get to your goal no problem. It's great that you've taken control
of that issue

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Ive been rejected by plenty of women because of my looks. My race. The colure of my skin.
I dont need a fucken study to inform me of something Ive lived with all my life....
Some women wont have anything to do with me, period...no matter how nice, sweet, fit, have moola...ect

Some are in the gray area..They might be friend me, interacted with me, Work with me....ect.
But they're not going to wanna fresia me or have an intimate realtionship with me, period.

However they are not all women nor represent all women. Beats the hell out of me..what the percentage are.
They dont even represent all WHITE or CUCASION WOMEN....
Thats becuase all Ive dated or have relationships with are cucasion women.
Most of the women I dated or had relationships with asked me out.
They're all consider pretty by a lot of people.
Interractial couples isnt something new.

From my own personal experince...when I was depressed ,negative, isolating, not taking care of myself.
Most people didnt want to around me period.

 

[Loser#1]

Guys I don't care how fat or bad looking you are..... If you have a good job, a little push, some personality, You'll get girls. Girls are not as shallow as we are. They believe that money is more important than looks, I'd say 95/100 girls believe that.

I never tell them what I have until i'm completely certain they are genuine, which is rare

 

[ardour]

I believe most women under 30 are shallow in this regard. Yes personality and confidence are almost essential, an attractive guy without much between the ears eventually nullifies whatever advantage his looks might have given him.

But IMO many younger women still have trouble separating appearance from perceptions of personality. So ugly men have an up-hill battle ahead of them; most don't get past the initial 'getting-to-know-you' stage because negative character traits are applied to them right away.

That instills bitterness, leading to self-conscious behaviour or overt negativity (which are unattractive for obvious reasons).

 

[VanillaCreme]

I think I'll take the overweight dude with a cute face though... You keep on believing things that just aren't true.

Since in an INTJ (WAY on the "Thinking" side), I believe what I experience and see until something happens to change that.

See, that's the thing. By how you think of it, you won't even get that chance. Women don't have to shoot you down. You shoot yourself down. You can't say that, "Oh, I don't think any different because I haven't experienced anything different," and then complain about it. Change how you think. I don't care what test says what. You have control over your own mind.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

a suggestion:

once you lose all the weight and are then capable of picking up any woman you desire (since according to your logic, they will all be helpless due to your improved physique) - definitely make sure try a different pickup line than:

"all women are superficial"

or

"women care about looks before personality"

those might hold you back in your endeavors

My logic NEVER said that "normal" weight guys are capable of picking up any woman they desire.

---

Guys I don't care how fat or bad looking you are..... If you have a good job, a little push, some personality, You'll get girls. Girls are not as shallow as we are. They believe that money is more important than looks, I'd say 95/100 girls believe that.

I never tell them what I have until i'm completely certain they are genuine, which is rare

I have a good job (Sr IT Infrastructure Architect) and personality (when I'm around people I know and am comfortable with), and when I die some charities will split an amount in 7 figures from my estate. The push is where I have issues.

---

I think I'll take the overweight dude with a cute face though... You keep on believing things that just aren't true.

Since in an INTJ (WAY on the "Thinking" side), I believe what I experience and see until something happens to change that.

See, that's the thing. By how you think of it, you won't even get that chance. Women don't have to shoot you down. You shoot yourself down. You can't say that, "Oh, I don't think any different because I haven't experienced anything different," and then complain about it. Change how you think. I don't care what test says what. You have control over your own mind.

Well, when you've had more than one person tell you that you're not attractive enough for them to date it kind of makes you jaded in that respect. Not exactly a big confidence booster.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I think I'll take the overweight dude with a cute face though... You keep on believing things that just aren't true.

Since in an INTJ (WAY on the "Thinking" side), I believe what I experience and see until something happens to change that.

See, that's the thing. By how you think of it, you won't even get that chance. Women don't have to shoot you down. You shoot yourself down. You can't say that, "Oh, I don't think any different because I haven't experienced anything different," and then complain about it. Change how you think. I don't care what test says what. You have control over your own mind.

Well, when you've had more than one person tell you that you're not attractive enough for them to date it kind of makes you jaded in that respect. Not exactly a big confidence booster.

I've heard from dudes half my life that I was ugly. Save it. When someone who you like asks you out, then the very next morning, you get another call from their dad telling them to apologize to you because it was a joke, then tell me something about it.

It's a cop out, dude, and you know it. If you can't do something for yourself, someone else sure as hell isn't.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

When someone who you like asks you out, then the very next morning, you get another call from their dad telling them to apologize to you because it was a joke, then tell me something about it.

I never got a call from a dad, but I have been on a "fix up" date with someone I liked and was then told that it was a joke, so I know where you're coming from.