The most beautiful woman i’d ever seen

[Danielle]

oohhhh Puddled duck, thank you for all of that..... ummm.... interesting information.

 

[Puddled Duck]

oohhhh Puddled duck, thank you for all of that..... ummm.... interesting information.

I am not here to tell you how to live your life.

The bible, cannot tell you how to live your life.

If I divorce my wife, I set precedent.

But that’s all I set, that doesn’t mean I’m then going to do the dirty on Rosie. Or blow the millions on prostitutes.

But i’ve set precedent.

Well then I’m sort of lost.

If I divorced my wife, went for the millions, well then I don’t think even I know what i’d do with the millions. Let alone you.

The minute I married my wife, everything hinged around her, the minute we seperated, I couldn’t really see the point anymore.

A million pounds, I can’t see the point to it.

I can’t have sex, if I can’t have sex I can’t have a relationship, let alone marriage, money has become an irrelevant concept.

So I can’t the point to life anymore.

Relationships mean nothing, marriage is the key.

And my marriage, total utter and complete disaster!, epic proportions!.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Out there is a chap called David Pawson.

David Pawson is the THE go to guy on the scripture position on marriage.

I stumbled around for a year or so, and then dropped on YouTube and stumbled upon David Pawson.

He is THE go to guy on the sciptural position of marriage, 10’s of hours listening to YouTube sermons, i’ve bought his book.

This is THE man, there is no greater authority.

When he talks, congregations will riot.

But he knows his honeysuckle, in fact I don’t know a single person who knows his honeysuckle like David Pawson.

Years i’ve spent listening to David Pawson.

Because not only does his honeysuckle!, he doesn’t give a fresia what anyone thinks when he preaches his honeysuckle!.

If there’s a riot, there’s a riot!.

 

[Puddled Duck]

There is something in Economics called an opportunity cost.

‘Opportunity cost’

If I divorce my wife, millions to me.

But what is the ‘opportunity cost’

My wife gets dragged through the divorce court and she is not well, probably very sick, she has to sell the family home (again), my (step) children will probably never now a ‘family home’ again, her family who I’m sure thought I was on make, will have all their worst suspicions confirmed. My name amongst my family will be dirt.

The ‘opportunity cost’ is just to great.

Always think in terms of ‘opportunity cost’

Not the importance of your decisions to you, but to everyone.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Don’t forget guys and girls.

When your banging the next man, woman you ‘love’

Always remember back

Always remember back to when you were twelve or thirteen, you were sitting in a classroom and well there was a look wasn’t there, there was that boy or girl in the classroom wasn’t there and you used to give him and he/she might have given you that look. You might have held hands, kissed, gone on a few ‘dates’. It innocent wasn’t, it was pure ‘love’

Always remember that when you’re banging senseless the next person you ‘love’. Well and the next, and the next.....

For me it was a girl called Gail Jukes, the mistakes I made with her, resonated for 30 years!.

Until I met my wife!.

SHE’S MY WIFE!

By the way if you ever want to know what happened to Gail, she went off to university and became a primary school teacher, she works 3 days a week, she married a chap called Martin Yates, they brought a house in Dudley and had 2 children together, he did the dirty with another woman, they divorced, she remained in the family home raising two children and working part time as a primary school teacher.

Gail was last seen at 42 years of age plying her trade on match.com, with some well I don’t really know what I want, but a visit to coffee shop in Peak District with a piece of carrot cake would be nice description and from what I tell getting absolutely knowhere.

As far as Martin Yates, he seems to spend all his time in a rock band.

 

[Puddled Duck]

Kiss me....



Where does that song come from?

Well there’s a man and he’s horny for a woman and a woman whos’s horny for a man. There’s pair are hot for one another, hot!, hot!, hot!, hot!, hot!.

Well anyway ........

There’s a bit of sex chat!, hmmmm.......

He says to her.......

‘Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle.’ ....Bit of tit man.... Hmmmm....Hmmmm....

and.......

‘For me my head is wet with dew’, and I think any man out there will now exactly what he means. Hmmm....Hmmmm.....

Well anyway this bloody woman he’s saying this to is loving all this honeysuckle!, absolutely loving all this honeysuckle!. Hmmmmm..... Hmmmmm....

She comes back to him in response......

‘His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold.’......This woman likes a nice pair of legs on a chap... usually the opposite way around......Hmmmm....Hmmmmmm

and......

‘Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.’...... taste it’s choice fruits.... sounds like she’s into a bit of oral?.....Hmmmmm....Hmmmmm.....

I THINK WE ALL KNOW KNOW WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!, DON’T WE!!!!!???????

 

[Puddled Duck]

There’s a man....

Hmmm.....Hmmm.....

He marries a woman......

Hmmm.....Hmmm.....

She’s called Clare, Clare’s a lovely girl, sweet and innocent, loves her family, loves her husband, does great charity work. Do anything for her family. A lovely girl Clare is. Raises two children on behalf of this man and would do anything for them.

This man who has Clare, married Clare, and is raising two children over the ten year marriage, is just not getting it at home is he?, hmmmm....hmmmm....Clare is focussed on family and love. Sex?... Hmmmm....Hmmmm......

Well anyway, the marriage goes on ten years, and well he’s not getting it home is he?... Hmmmm....Hmmmmm....

One night, he leaves the family home at 6 pm, goes for a drive, into the night, I think we all know what’s going on here?.

He’ll come across a woman, this woman will know he’s weak, she’ll know he’s weak!!!!!, she’ll see the look in this eye’s, she’s know, this woman will know this man is not getting it home!.

He’ll approach this woman, she’ll be attractive, she’ll be be waiting for him...Hmmmm....Hmmmm...

He’ll hand over money to her.....Hmmmm....Hmmmm....

Then he’ll slap down on the counter a PlayStation 4 Pro (Call of Duty pack) !!!!!!!

You thought I was going to say this chap was going to shag a crack whore!.

This is a marriage man!, and any person who thought he was going to shag a crack whore!, well you’re a mucky bunch of little puppies you lot are!.

I know he’ll do it!, I’ll know he’ll do it!, because I did nearly exactly the same thing when I was 30 years old and in a sexless relationship , albeit with a Nintendo 64.

 

[Jessicat]

Are you rambling? 
*cheer you on*

 

[Puddled Duck]

Are you rambling? 
*cheer you on*

I don’t ramble, there’s always method in the madness as someone once said to me.

Always method in the madness!!!!

 

[Puddled Duck]

It’s always the same, always the I can guarantee it!

When I say ‘marriage is a sexual union’.

Two things happen!.

A complete look of dread comes over the persons face, the person practically has a nervous breakdown in front of me and can’t utter a word.

Someone who knows his/her honeysuckle!, says this.......

‘Yes Michael, BUT!.....’

Then goes quite for about 5 minutes and sits there thinking but what’s the BUT! and never utters a word.

and many of these people have been married 10 or more years.

 

[user 139760]

The irony of it all is 20 years from now a relationship with a Nintendo may no longer be sexless.

 

[Puddled Duck]

The irony of it all is 20 years from now a relationship with a Nintendo may no longer be sexless.

Many married men have a far greater ‘relationship’ with Call of Duty on the PlayStation 4 than they do with there wife and children. I’ve known many woman tell me.

 

[user 139760]

The irony of it all is 20 years from now a relationship with a Nintendo may no longer be sexless.

Many married men have a far greater ‘relationship’ with Call of Duty on the PlayStation 4 than they do with there wife and children. I’ve known many woman tell me.

Indeed. But with future technological advancement, in the near future you'll be able to enjoy a complete marriage and relationship...without ever walking out the front door. That's where we're headed. I don't fancy Siri enough to want to sleep with her, personnally.

 

[Puddled Duck]

The irony of it all is 20 years from now a relationship with a Nintendo may no longer be sexless.

Many married men have a far greater ‘relationship’ with Call of Duty on the PlayStation 4 than they do with there wife and children. I’ve known many woman tell me.

Indeed. But with future technological advancement, in the near future you'll be able to enjoy a complete marriage and relationship...without ever walking out the front door. That's where we're headed. I don't fancy Siri enough to want to sleep with her, personnally.

But you can’t define marriage.

You’ll will/have walk/walked into a church and have/will marry someone.

But even then won’t be able to define marriage. In fact don’t think you’ll ever have a clue!.

Relationships?, never known anything so stupid in my entire life!.

 

[TheRealCallie]

 

[Puddled Duck]

Accept marriage is a sexual union.

You won’t, I only in all my years of research have only met the odd one or two people who do!.

Accept it, you won’t like it, I don’t like it, but accept it!.

And then a lot of confusion in your minds will be cleared up.

And hopefully there won’t be 500,000 reports of sexual assault in the UK every year!.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The earth is flat. The aliens that abducted me told me so.

 

[Puddled Duck]

The earth is flat. The aliens that abducted me told me so.

Who told you that?, who told you anything, TheRealCallie was born TheRealCallie?.

 

[kaetic]

Accept marriage is a sexual union.

You won’t, I only in all my years of research have only met the odd one or two people who do!.

Accept it, you won’t like it, I don’t like it, but accept it!.

And then a lot of confusion in your minds will be cleared up.

And hopefully there won’t be 500,000 reports of sexual assault in the UK every year!.

I thought you couldn't define it... ?

 

[Danielle]

My head is spinning... lol

Callie.... that meme made me laugh... lol